In the early years, we broke up — several times, followed by intensely passionate make up sessions.
It was guilt that held me back.
Guilt that I should be doing something else and that my love was a waste of productive time.
I should be working at something that paid an hourly wage. I should be spending more time with my children, my husband, my parents and my friends. I should be cleaning my house, folding the laundry, pulling weeds and answering every email in my inbox.
However, I knew that my love fuelled me in ways that I could not articulate. That time with paint, canvas, brush and colour is my path to understanding myself — deeply.
Painting has made me a better mother, wife, daughter and friend. I’ve learned that dust, weeds and full inboxes are the signposts for an interesting life — not laziness.
My love has matured. It has not been an easy journey but we’ve abandoned the drama and embraced the “c” word — commitment.
Yes, it still has its sexy moments but I purposely plan and create space in my life to paint. I block the time in my day and my week when I know I be able to give it my full attention and my most precious energy.
Creativity as a wild, un-tethered, alcoholic, chain smoking lover is a myth.
My love needs me to plan our encounters and to stay steadfast. It asks for deep respect because it is my calling to my true self.
This painting was created in response to a Facebook challenge – Artists Against Violence. It took several short intense sessions as I had to be patient to let the layers dry. I’m grateful to Nadina Tandy who shares the same studio space with me – for encouraging me to pause, step back when I reached this point. I’m really happy with the result but I could have easily pushed past it.
In honour of International Women’s Day – I will donate 50% of the sale of this painting to Women Against Violence Against Women.
To view this painting or to visit my gallery, please contact me.